yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
