Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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