well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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