they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
