a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All the doctor said was why
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
