is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
