brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
