The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
did i just pee glitter
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
