Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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