I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
