I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
