Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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