the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
