do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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