the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
