other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
