somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
