AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
