And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
