Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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