we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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