I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
