He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
