Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
