community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
