Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
