All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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