so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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