pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
