she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
