i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
