I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
