OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
