Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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