I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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