capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
