ugly people sure do ruin things
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
