i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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