I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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