So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
