O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
