i jhust puked up my retainher.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
