i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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