You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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