Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
