Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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