her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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