as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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