Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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