I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
