We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
