the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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